Friend or Toe?

Earlier this year I told you about Emma's declaration that I wasn't her friend anymore. Now, like then, it doesn't affect me too much. I've come to realise that toddlers are fair-weathered friends. When they think things are fair, in other words, in their favour, they're your BFF. The opposite is true when they feel they're being mistreated.

Of course I ride this one like sea-biscuit. I often ask "Emma am I friend or foe today?" and she normally answers "Friend! Mama I love you bigger than an elephant's bum!"

Sunday night's friendliness had been replaced with friendly fire. We had been out shopping in the morning and she had seen some hideous doll she wanted. It was a zombie barbie or something. I'm all for large breasted, tiny waisted blonde haired women being made to look frightening. Think Charlize Theron in 'Monster'. Seeing her in that state had me smugly thinking to myself "you're one bad suntan and big mac away from actually looking like that!" but to voluntarily buy a creepy doll for a three year old and have it in the house. I think not!

After a long day out Emma was exhausted and 'difficult'. The only thing that made her smile was when I suggested we have a bath together. "Ooooh that'll be nice!" she said and I knew we were friends again.

Bath time with her is a [fickle] way for me to find out how she's doing and what she's thinking. We role-play with 'Memo' and 'Penguin'. She's normally the little orange and black fish and I'm the flightless tuxedoed bird. Play time goes something like this:

"Hello Nemo! How are you today?"

"Hello Penkwin I'mfinethanksandhowareyou?"

"I'm also fine. Thank you for asking. Did you have fun today Nemo?"

"I did. And you?"

"I did. Did you do anything exciting today?"

"Yes I played with my friends Liza and Khensi and Oscar and Lala B"

"Oh and what did you play?"

You get the gist...


So last night I said:


"Hello Memo, how are you?"

"I'm fine thanks Penkwin"

"Did you have a good day with mommy and daddy today?"

"Yes I did"

"What did you do? Where did you go?"

"We went to the shops and I bought a lalaloopsy doll!"

"Oh, you bought a lalaloopsy doll? Do you love your dolly?"

"Yes thank you Penkwin. But I wanted another one"

"Which one did you want?"

"The barbie one!"

"Why didn't you get that one?"

"My mommy wouldn't let me. She said no!"

"Why did mom say no Memo?"

"Because she's not my friend!"

*insert little giggle from me*

"Is mommy your friend or your foe?"


At this point the role-play stops. Emma stands up in the bath. Hands on hips and declares "Mommy you're not my friend! You're my TOE!"